Misery loves a company, good bye.

Misery loves a company.... a conflicting negative yet supportive system for those in such predicament and I've seen how it really works, especially in my life. Yup. it's been a bittersweet miserable journey for the last 6 or 7 years and after much deliberation I've recently packed all my emotional bags, ready to leave my miserable love life. Well it wasn't really all miserable, more like the lack of the love feelings... and this is a post to say good bye to misery, I no longer need your company.  Here's a song by Adele that I would like to dedicate to myself hahahaa actually this song just tells the story of my life.

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe

So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give what you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you (ooh)
Where love is lost your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down, whoa

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

Sing Adele.. sing!

Adele is the best, sings all our misery in the beautiful melodic tunes ever. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who appreciates her songs. You gotta love the cynicism in her lyrics, those "I love you once but YOLO life goes on" messages hahahaha
Love is an abstract concept, it's very hard to actually know when you really want or appreciate having it or otherwise. A recent discussion with my other half further confused the concept when he equated love with responsibility among other acts such as not bothering to know my whereabouts and stuff in the pretext of respecting my privacy. Hmmmm... that's a new level of abstract.
So how does one define love? Google.com told me that's it an intense feeling of deep affection, translated in verb or action of  feeling a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. Well, in that case I definitely have lots of love in me though not for the right reasons hahaha
I consider myself a simple person, I love simple things in life even when it comes to love... I love it when love is readily available when I need it and it's quite alright for me also when it's not there. I've always practiced the concept of "Out of Sight, Out of Mind" which simply translates that I'll love you when I see you and not think about the love when it's not around. However I've found an annoying flaw in this concept which is the longing to hold on to the love longer than necessary.... Haihhh... i really need to find a way to manage this longing or clingy feeling that's super annoying to a point that it makes you feel helpless and a bit lost when the love is out of sight. I have yet to discover an effective solution for now so Adele dear, I'm really counting on your songs to keep believing in my concept of love hahahahaa So Adele, keep on singing and entertain this foolish heart of mine.

This ain't a love song and that's not a bad thing

You can't force feelings, many songs have been written on this. Yet most people don't realize the truth of this matter until you're in that situation and yes, I for one truly understand this. Urghhhhh it's bloody annoying!

After 2 months of emotional roller coaster ride, I'm amazed at how little is understood by my *currently* other half. Maybe he's just being stubborn and find comfort living in denial of the whole situation. Perhaps it's just hope mixed with the fear of walking an unknown unchartered path. Yes, it's scary being alone but sometimes being alone makes you a stronger person. Maybe it's simply the fear of change... or maybe it's the combination of all these.  It's also weird how a small action causes a huge reaction in the relationship. A sudden pour of affection, attention and romantic gestures is definitely not something that'll be appreciated in the current circumstances. Worse is that when these actions are expected to be reciprocal and you're cornered to feel guilty when it's not. I can't... been a hypocrite for quite some time but now that the cat's out of the bag it'll be wrong to act otherwise. 

So how do you get these feelings on board again? I don't really have a formula but if you don't know it too then maybe we're currently at the right place. But one thing for sure, at times like this patience is a virtue. Again, many songs have been written on this matter but now that I'm in this predicament I can safely say that... yes, only time will tell. 

Listening to songs about life ain't such a bad idea for now, these songwriters really know their stuff and it's time people like us start believing their stories. So turn on the radio and crank up the volume!